Hello All

Time to dump some more trivia/ nonsense….maybe  even more so cos the author has passed 3 score and 10…

1.  One to start with... a 70 year old was trying to set a password recently…(with thanks to B Shea)

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

Tony: cabbage

 WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

 Tony: boiled cabbage

 WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

 Tony: 1 boiled cabbage

 WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.

 Tony: 50bloodyboiledcabbages

 WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.

 Tony: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.

 Tony: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesGiveMeAccessNow!

 WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

 Tony: HadEnough50BloodyBoiledCabbagesGiveMeAccessNow

 WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.

2.  For months..as an upcoming 70 year old..I had been puzzled why some cars over here have yellow number plates and some white ?? Different Countys?? Different years of manufacture?? Petrol cars vs Desiel ??

Since I turned 70, I realised that they use white plates on the front of cars and yellow plates on the back…durrrr

3.  We all use the derogatory term “Pommie or Pom or pommy, etc “ when referring to our English brethren….but hands up if you know what the term stands for.??? A clue can be found in the photo that The Mother sent to family members recently…

…no graffitii vandals tolerated over here...

4.  In an earlier edition, I mentioned that the famous Wentworth Golf Golf in Berkshire had been purchased by a Chinese based company. They proposed reducing the the number of members from 4400 to 800. Any existing members wishing to re-join the Club would have to pay 100000 pounds up front and then find 16000 pa in subs.  This caused uproar as you could imagine.

The new Club management has now issued a statement saying how disappointed they are with members response to their proposals !!!!!….

...they did go on to say however that they had decided not to proceed with their proposals...

5.  This is not a UK issue… it seems to be a gobal phonomen. ..(I know I cant spell)

Just a few years ago when I was a law abiding young man, I was fined $30 for driving a vehicle with a small hole in the muffler…it was said to be too noisy !!

Ever since, I have been puzzled when I experience the ear-piercing noise of motor bikes taking off at traffic lights….and there is no suggestion that they are breaking the law. One rule for cars and another for dam motor bikes ???

6.  KIDS KORNER

• Latest fad in diets…you eat half and spread the other half around the room ….
•  

•  
• (I suspect that Annie, Georgie and Tessa have already worked out this diet…)
•  

•  
•  
• Q. What is the tallest building in the world ?
• A. The library..It has the most stories
•  
• Q. What is the longest word?
• A. “Smiles” because there is a mile between the S’s.

7.  We all have our little tricks in how we use the english language…

One that the I have noticed here with the locals is “Hello-or-ight..”

Its short hand for “Hello…. Are you all right ?”

8.  In previous editions I have mentioned some of the quaint/quirky town and place names. 

Recently on a lovely walk around Leith Hill in Surrey, we had an instruction to head to Friday Street. We couldn’t find a street called Friday but we did find a VILLAGE called Friday Street.

Further on, our instruction was to pass “..several copse ( Plantations)”…in fact it was ONE plantation called “Several Copse”

9.  “..the walls have ears”. I think we have all heard the expression, but recently when visiting one of the many Grand/historic Houses, a guide explained the saying..

All the old Grand Houses have internal passages behind the walls for use by the servants, where can they can enter a room to do their thing without  impeding the guests. These passages were perfect venues for servants to get an insights into what the Hoi-poloy we talking about. ….the walls had ears...

10. The Mother gets her arm out of plaster tomorrow !! She is incredibly resilient. We have been limited to 10 mile walks for the last six weeks, so God know what challenges lie ahead…

11.  Finally ..I have had to report another establishment - Oxfordshire Inn - to BASL. This time it wasn’t so much that they provided six inch thick Dumbas …sorry Doonas in 22 degree air-con. It was that they provided a single  bed donna for a King size bed. (In case you have forgotten BASL stands for Bed And Sheet Lobby)
 

Dad/Tony

PS Re item 3 the term is actually spelt POME…Prisoner Of Mother England

BTW An (un)reliable reader has advised that the Mitchells might be interested in having this nonsense pushed at them, so they get  a copy of BnP 14 for trial.

Remember, the complete series of BnP will be published in soft and hard-back versions later in 2016. We are currently negotiating for a mini-series…..